‘Like Taking Myself on the Ultimate Date’: My Solo Travelling Experience and the Journey to Enjoying My Own Company
By Hope O’Rourke
Every New Years Day, I write a letter to my future self. This has become a ritual that I do instead of setting resolutions. I use the letter to hold myself accountable for how I spend the year and to keep track of my goals and aims moving forward. I’ve always been an anxious person and in the past, this has led me to believe that I require other people to help me branch out of my comfort zone. But this year, fresh out of a relationship, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do things on my own. Anxiety wasn’t going to get in the way.
Solo travelling has really helped me to grow into myself. I chose to take my first solo travel experience for my birthday, and I don't know if I’ve ever felt more pride for myself than when I was able to wander around the streets of Italy on my own on the evening of my birthday, a bag of cannoli and a lot more confidence than I’d felt before. If I had been a more confident person before I headed off to Italy then perhaps my trip would have been different. Maybe I would have spoken more Italian from my phrasebook, but I also wouldn’t have pushed myself out of my comfort zone the way I did.
The perks of solo travel are plentiful. It forces you to be independent and to make all of the decisions, although there are times when things go wrong and you may question your own judgement – that’s just part of the learning curve. Booking a hostel that was supposed to be a female dorm and ending up in a mixed dorm with people who spoke very little English was definitely not the most comfortable experience. Let’s just say some lessons were learned and I will avoid these mistakes the next time around. What I now know is that an eye-mask and earplugs are worth the investment when staying in shared accommodation with people who listen to TikTok without headphones and who stumble in at 3 am and turn on all the lights.
Travelling alone means that whilst you might be fighting some anxieties and fears, you are also free of obligation to anyone else. You’re not required to appease anyone else; your time is your own and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. Being able to eat wherever and whatever you want and not having to take other people into consideration gives you the best excuse to be selfish – and it’s a selfishness that you can’t be criticised for. I was able to eat amazing pasta and tiramisu and drink ridiculous amounts of Italian coffee, my absolute dream. Taking yourself on dates is a great way to learn how to love not only yourself but to get used to your own company. My solo travelling experience was taking myself on the ultimate date.
One of the things that I did plan for my trip was a walking tour of the city, as this was an incredible way to explore and engage with other people who were travelling. I picked up some tips and reviews of other destinations and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Usually the experience of showing up and standing on my own for two hours would make me extremely uncomfortable, but I adjusted. I found that an extensive amount of research into how I wanted to spend my trips helped ensure that I was never not busy. I was able to wander the streets, heading to one museum after another and ticking off the sights as I went, making sure to find moments to sit and read in cafes and drink some of the best coffee I’ve ever experienced.
A week after I returned from my first trip, I made another spontaneous booking and found myself wandering the streets of Rome, channelling my inner Lizzie McGuire and Audrey Hepburn. It’s safe to say that this wouldn’t be the last
It sounds rather dramatic, but these experiences gave me the chance to discover parts of myself and grow into a person that I could learn to love. My hope for when I read the letter on New Years Eve is that I can sit there as a person who loves herself. My past self would be so proud of me, too.