The Real Reason You Have FOMO and How You Can Use it to Get Your Dream Life

By Kortney Burks

I spent my early 20s convincing myself that I was happy.

I tried hard to be, but I couldn’t help but fixate on the lives that my friends were living: driving across the country, travelling to Thailand, touring with a band. Why wasn’t my life exciting like theirs? It got to the point that I had to completely block myself from seeing what my friends were experiencing because I was so jealous of all the freedom and adventure that I didn’t have in my own structured life.

I had massive FOMO (fear of missing out). But while I spent all this time resenting their lives and complaining about mine, I failed to see a connection. It wasn’t until a few months ago that it all clicked.

After separating from my husband last year, I followed my intuition and took myself on a road trip that I hadn’t planned for across Canada. I let my inner knowing lead me, and I ended up exploring places that I didn’t even know existed and making incredible connections. I originally thought this journey was about my healing. What I didn’t realise was that this type of life was the one my soul had been begging me for.

I found that I loved travelling and the adventure of being somewhere new every day. And that’s when I finally understood: every moment of FOMO, of jealousy, I had felt, was my soul telling me Yes. THAT’S what I want! Jealousy is not just an emotion that we all experience. It is a sign of something that you long for. It is a desire within you, asking to be recognised.

When what you truly want shows up in your physical reality, it is the Universe letting you know that it is possible for you to have this desire, too. The fact that you are even seeing it in the lives of those around you means you are already becoming an energetic match to it. Our desires are meant for us, no matter how impossible they may seem.

But why do we experience jealousy when it’s something that we want? Just because we want something doesn’t always mean that we believe we are worthy of having it. Instead of choosing to trust that our dream life is on its way to us, we resent others for having it because we don’t believe that we can. We say, ‘that would be nice’ and ‘lucky them’, instead of ‘if it’s possible for them, that must mean it’s possible for me, too.’

Feeling jealous and experiencing FOMO is normal and okay. But what if we used it as a tool to help us get to where we want to go? What if it’s an opportunity to get curious, shift our focus to excitement and feel empowered to go after those big dreams of ours?

Here are a few ways I did exactly that:

1. Look Closer

Who are you jealous of? What specifically about their lives triggers this feeling in you? Write these down. Make it like a puzzle, taking pieces of others’ lives to create a life that excites you. This is what your soul is asking for.

2. Find the Root

Where did you learn that you weren’t worthy of having what you desire? This is the time to dig deep into your past, as most of the beliefs that we bring with us into our adult lives are created between the ages of zero and seven. Choosing to reframe a belief takes away its power, allowing us to break negative thought patterns and ultimately change our reality. Visualise giving your younger self what they needed back then. Ask yourself, what would your best friend tell you about this belief? What would the Universe/ your higher self tell you?

3. Script your Dream Life

Take everything that you listed in step one and write it out in present tense. I make 100k per year. I am married to the love of my life. I get to travel for work. Get as detailed as possible and have fun with it. Add more things you would love to have, do and/or experience.

4. Feel the Feels

This is a HUGE part of manifestation since what we are really desiring is a particular feeling. So, thank the Universe for this amazing life that you get to live! And ask yourself how it would feel to manifest your desires into your physical reality. Write these down, too. Since we manifest what we already have, how can you create more of these feelings right now? Maybe that’s pretending to be a tourist in your hometown to feel more freedom.

5. Take Aligned Action

What step can you take today that will bring you closer to your dream life? How can you embody your higher self right now? It doesn’t matter how small the action step is; something is better than nothing.

I used to struggle with the question, where will you be in five years? I never had an answer because I didn’t know what it was that I wanted. I learned to use my FOMO to create a life vision that inspired me, and I shifted the feeling of jealousy to excitement. I know that these desires are meant for me just as yours are meant for you.

This journey is never easy, but the Universe and your higher self are there cheering you on – as am I.