Starting Over: How The Pandemic Shifted My Career Focus For The Better

By Lizzie Perman

As a performer, you know the show will not go on forever. Maybe you’ll wake up one day and decide you’ve just had enough; maybe your body will gradually stiffen and cease co-operating with your demands; maybe you’ll start to long for more stability and routine as you edge towards a future where everything doesn’t ride on your next big break. It never crossed my mind that a highly infectious virus might sweep over the world, force an international lockdown and ultimately make that decision for me. 

This isn’t a post-pandemic sob story. I’ve seen the devastation Covid has caused across the Theatre, Cruise and Nightclub industries; I hope desperately that these industries are able to recover for the sake of friends, colleagues, our communities and our culture. Being forced to take a step off the treadmill I had been clinging to, I was able to appreciate that perhaps jumping straight back on when some semblance of normality returned was not what I wanted.

Spring 2020. As everything began to slow down and eventually grind to a begrudging halt, I felt others’ frustration at the subsequent pausing of their lives. One friend was in her dream West End job, another due to begin one. I saw dancers stuck for months on cruise ships, unable to dock safely to fly home, and shuddered at the thought of having been in their position. Time passed, and as casting emails began to slide into inbox once more, I realised: I had no desire to step foot into an audition room ever again.  

I didn’t crave a cramped four counts of eight in a sweaty studio; nor a ‘thanks, but that’s all for today’ nor a post-audition solemn return to a work shift, feeling like a D-list celebrity who’s had to return to a washed-out soap opera for any chance of a career resurgence. The more people romanticised our return to the industry, the more I recoiled from it. 

Reflecting back over the past few years, I felt grateful for the opportunities and life-lessons; the jobs I had booked and been blessed with; the humbling nature of the return to the graft after every contract ended. I didn’t miss it though. I was ready for something new. 

Perhaps the instability of the industry as I left made it easier to say goodbye. Maybe the long summer I had to contemplate my other interests and passions gave me the space to pursue them properly for the first time. Definitely, the sense of control that making an active choice gave me was intoxicating – I hadn’t felt this powerful about my trajectory in years. It let me know my choice was the right one. 

This isn’t a sob story, but it’s not an overnight success story either. I wish I could say I’d started a company monetizing a recently discovered hobby and made a lockdown fortune – unfortunately not. Starting over often means starting small. Things might be moving slowly, but they are moving; I’m not where I dream of being, but I’m taking daily steps towards getting there. 

If there’s one thing every dancer knows, it’s that discipline and perseverance will get you places. So, I’m taking that with me. If you too are thinking of starting over, I invite you to do the same.