Babes with Big Feelings: It’s Time to Embrace Empathy and See Being ‘Too Sensitive’ as a Superpower

By Mary W

Pour one out for my sensitive girlies. The ones who were always told, ‘You’re too sensitive’. The ones who were called crybabies. The ones who always gave too much – not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

I want you to know that I love every single one of you. The world could literally not run without you. And I mean that. Even science says that ~30% of the population is likely made up of ‘highly sensitive individuals’. Sensitive people are essential to human existence. I happen to be a sensitive girlie myself, and I’m proud to be; if I could choose between being ‘too sensitive’ or ‘just sensitive enough’, I would always choose the former.

Growing up, I was always called ‘mama baby’, a hybrid of my name (Mary) and the word crybaby. My family knew from day one that I was sensitive. If anything happened, I was always the first one to shed tears. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I’m angry. I cry at the end of Monsters, Inc (listen, Sully coming back for Boo is a tearjerker). I cry a lot.

But I also smile big. I smile when I see a cute dog. When my friends give me a hug. When it’s a sunny day. I laugh too hard at simple jokes. I have high highs and low lows. My emotions feel big – sometimes uncontainable – yet also normal and natural. Whenever I try to be less sensitive, I end up feeling a huge nothingness: to compress my feelings is to compress my entire being. It just isn’t me. And isn’t life too short to be anything but ourselves?

Being sensitive has never been a bad thing, so why does the world shy away from babes with big feelings? Maybe it’s because being able to have such a level of empathy and responsiveness to the world is scary. It’s something that many people cannot understand unless they too have felt it.

We all know what people do when they don’t understand something: they run. They hide. They chastise it. Sensitivity has never been the equivalent of meanness or unkindness. It just is what it is – the ability to feel and respond to the world deeply. And that counts for the good, the bad and the ugly.

In a world where climate change, illness, hunger, houselessness, racism, oppression and every other horrifyingly scary thing happens, being sensitive isn’t just needed. It is required. What else can be more human than seeing another person in the world as just that – a human being.

Don’t get me wrong. Sensitive people can be massive assholes, but that isn’t because of their highly sensitive nature, and we aren’t immune to bad decisions. Even though we feel the world in similar deep ways doesn’t mean we respond the same to these feelings. Some highly sensitive people can get overwhelmed, overstimulated, or carried away with their emotions. We are attuned to every change in the dial of life. But being sensitive doesn't mean we shouldn’t learn emotional regulation.

Many times, it means we need to learn more about how to manage these feelings that make everything more vivid, visceral and razor-sharp, whether those feelings are positive or negative. It doesn’t mean we should be less sensitive or ignore that deeply attuned sense of existing. We should embrace it, love it, welcome it and learn how to share it in the right ways with others. Being too sensitive is a form of magic and, as with all magic, if you can master the craft, you will be unstoppable.

I am not saying that people who are not highly sensitive are not amazing. I am not saying that being highly sensitive is the best thing in the world and something we should all attain. I’m here to tell you that it’s the best thing for those of us who already are. I am saying that it doesn’t hurt to be ‘too sensitive’, and it definitely wouldn’t hurt humanity to be just a little more so. We don’t all need to be at the same level, but we all need to welcome each other, wherever we are on the sensitivity scale.

The sensitive girlies are here to stay. No more hiding. No more holding back. No more capping our feelings. Engage with the world in the way that you were designed to – gently, deeply and sensitively. I promise it never was and never will be a bad thing.