‘Man Up’!
By Emma McKeown
Grow a pair... Have some balls… Don’t be a pussy… A boy takes off his nail polish for fear of being called ‘gay’... I wonder why it is such a bad thing. Society has made it an insult to be seen as feminine because, in turn, this means you are weak. Young boys don’t wear pink... Boys laugh compliantly at “women belong in the kitchen” jokes… Harry Styles wearing a skirt is, according to some, single handedly ending the era of manly men. What does it even mean to be a manly man?
The irony is astounding. Women are supposedly so weak yet the very suggestion of being feminine to some men is completely terrifying. ‘Don’t cry’. ‘Don’t be so sensitive’. ‘Don’t share your feelings, it’s so emasculating’. When in fact, the terror surrounding the suggestion of femininity is overwhelming to a lot of men. Toxic masculinity is the very source of their fragility. Femininity is viewed as so shameful, that it has the power to overthrow masculinity with a tiny bottle of nail polish. The concept that masculine equals powerful, destroys itself with the basic fact that a slip in masculinity causes it to crumble all together. A flick to the balls has a man doubled over, while his wife pushes out a third child.
In reality, we don’t realise how much power we hold as ‘feeble’ females. The devastating anxiety surrounding falling short of society’s expectations of manhood is so crippling that men are afraid of being viewed to be as weak as they see us. They don’t even realise how much strength is adherent in this.
Yes, some men are comfortable in their masculinity and yes, some men do indeed fit the perfect ‘idea of manhood’. Yes, they may feel more in control at never bowing down to an argument. Never letting a tear slip. Never letting the mask drop. But for some, more than you think, this is an acting role that they never auditioned for. Calling a straight man gay or a pussy has become an insult because of the gender roles that have been enforced on us. It has become not only a bad thing but their critical weakness. These men have no idea that their shame makes them more unsteady than they could have ever feared. A lot of these men can barely even explain why they are so afraid of these assumptions. It’s so ingrained within them it has become a subconscious mindset. Men are strong, Women are weak. Gay men sometimes dress or act more feminine therefore gay men are more like women. Gay men are also weak.
Society has brainwashed our men into thinking that if they don’t live up to a certain standard and abide by a certain set of rules this makes them less of a man. Men feel they cannot talk about their past trauma in fear of it making them appear as fragile. Men feel they cannot dress the way they like in fear of being mocked. Men feel they cannot follow certain dreams and aspirations in fear of it making a dent in their masculinity. ‘Play sports, don’t do art’. ‘Drink beer, not cocktails’. Also, don’t even be a vegetarian or a vegan because caring about animals or the environment or your health might be a little bit ‘gay’ too.
This silent and deep-rooted suffering makes men weaker than ever and they don’t even realise it. They are left unable to communicate and share their feelings. They are left vulnerable and bursting at the seams. They are left, worst of all, ignorant. Ignorant to realising that to give in to your passions and feelings makes you strong. Ignorant to the fact that standing against what the rest of the world deems to be masculine can make you even more of a man. Ignorant to the damage they are causing not only towards themselves but to women and even the LGBTQ+ community. Forcing yourself into a society-made man-mould is not what makes you a man.
So, boys, man up and paint your damn nails.