‘Can You Really Be a Queer Muslim?’: Intersectionality and the Complexity of Identity
Reflections on My Dysfunctional Family
I always felt as though my brother had the power to turn me invisible, as if his presence automatically equalled my absence. We used to be best friends, back when I was only a little girl. It didn’t last long at all, but I’ll always cherish the feeling of being naive enough to believe I had a big brother by my side who would protect me forever…
‘Sent With a Loving Kiss’: Letter Writing and Platonic Love Across Three Generations of Women
It’s nice to indulge in a tradition of celebrating love in all its other forms – whether it’s a fierce, sisterly bond; a proud maternal love; a love that, whilst strained, still has good bones under it; or affection that can only privately bloom once a year before necessary boundaries rise up again. Platonic love in its infinite variety is more complicated and real than any Hollywood ending…
‘I Thought I was the Only One Whose “Dad” was a Woman’: Overcoming Internalised Homophobia After Growing Up in a Same-Sex Household
As time went on the reactions to my ‘fact’ changed, and so did my wording of it. While one probably catalysed the other, I am not entirely sure in which direction this was. In secondary school, the amazement I was used to receiving turned to more questions and often even accusations. I would get, ‘So… you are too?’. I wasn’t certain how to answer this – they meant the gay thing…
‘Change the World Instead of Changing Who We’re With’: Learning to Embrace Life and Love as a Woman Loving a Woman
There were many challenges to loving a woman as a woman. I couldn’t hold her hand everywhere. I couldn't introduce her to my family: I could lose certain people, or I could be rejected from some of the many communities I was in. With a man, my life would be like everyone else’s. Everything I had a chance to observe growing up – everything I am familiar with and not scared of – would be there…
Black and White: How Race Impacts Our Queer Experience
There’s a phrase commonly used, particularly among gay men: ‘No Fats, No Femmes, and No Blacks or Asians’. Originating from the ‘dating’ app Grindr, it was (and is) frequently used by white members to deter people who didn’t fit their ‘preference’ from messaging them…