Am I The Writer?

By Giorgia Caso

Stuck between pages twenty and twenty-one: 

unable to flip this yellowish sheet of paper,

I’m getting better weighing at the bottom. 

What if the next one brings 

a disruption in the narrative, 

a climax or a turning point 

and everything falls apart 

and the written moments 

questioning the previous pages 

as if they were all lies, 

twisted and contradicting?

I found my place at page sixteen. 

That’s what I thought 

until page twenty 

brought me into a new world

full of disappointments, 

unexpected realities 

and chunky paragraphs. 

I can’t even drink 

all the words at once. 

Expectations, plans and mind maps 

flying off the window

spreading their wings

fighting against a cold wind 

when new characters or resolutions

could be waiting in the next chapter. 

Am I going to be able to move on 

and finally turn the page?