Enough is enough

By Eléonore Stolz

Why I’m taking enough out of my vocabulary.

Enough.

This word represents an inherent problem in society.

People often believe they’re good but most often don’t believe they’re good enough.

I would like to point out that I used to think like this too. I used to obsess constantly over what I needed to improve on, where I needed to get better, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t need to think about if I’m ever going to be good enough because as much as I advance, so will my expectations. In that sense, I will never be good enough but will always be improving.

I was talking to a friend when I realized that she kept using this language where she was pointing out her strengths as if they were nothing compared to her weaknesses. ‘Enough’ is all I could think of. She didn’t think she was enough. She was talking about everything she had to do to improve, be stronger, be better. She wasn’t accepting that everything she has to offer is already great.

We are taught to improve ourselves, which is important. What’s the point of improving though, if you never recognize that this improvement is valuable? If you don’t recognize that you are valuable?

I obsessed over if I was good or bad and then I was taught that there’s no point in that. These labels of good and bad do not help anyone. 

Option 1: You label yourself as bad (unfortunately, this feels like the more common route taken out of these options). If you label yourself as bad, you’ll diminish your mood to the point where you feel like you cannot ever be of value or significance.

Option 2: You label yourself as good. You feel good and praise yourself, but don’t feel the need to get better because you’re already good, hindering this process of continuous improvement.

However, there is secret option 3: you don’t label yourself. You recognize your value and importance, and continuously improve while keeping in mind that you are trying. You do not use the word enough because it’s arbitrary. 

What are you even using to assign this label of good or bad? People have their ideas of what’s good and bad and see if they fit them. The only thing is that people aren’t as simple as that. We have complicated decisions and lives, but we create these ideas around labels and assume we have to fit it to a tee to be able to use them. 

I question if I’m bi enough to use that label. This, I soon realized, was toxic. I am bi. No matter who I date or who I love, that will not change. Thinking ‘am I bi enough?’ was accentuating a stereotype of what being bi meant. It was ignoring the presence of a spectrum. The word enough implies a spectrum, but it allows for the creation of an arbitrary ever-changing cutoff for the use of a word. 

This word in question can be any matter of things. Here it is the word bi, but more often it’s the word good. The word enough in that case diminishes everything good we have done to wondering if it all outweighs the bad. 

I don’t use the word enough when addressing my skills or achievements anymore. To protect yourself from your thoughts, I would recommend you do too.