By Ioana Onofrei

The word OCD creates numerous images in our minds. Most of the time, those images are related to cleaning excessively or the order in which we prefer to do things. Those elements, of course, can be something that someone who was diagnosed with OCD can struggle with. However, this disorder can mean so many other different things – and for each individual, there is a distinctive experience. 

There are many types of OCD: harm OCD, relationship OCD, contamination OCD, to name a few. While it is very true that there are symptoms that are shared across all types of OCD, specific factors define each type. 

OCD can affect someone’s relationship with themselves and others tremendously; it can be the cause of isolation, bringing a sense of loneliness and alienation. The reason that many have the desire to isolate themselves when suffering from OCD is the constant fear of hurting others. From personal experience, I know this is a fear which lingers at all times.   

From a very young age, OCD has been a big part of my life. As a child, struggling with so many intrusive thoughts, which included harm of myself and others, was an obstacle that affected my everyday life. It continued to be an obstacle until I had the courage to place myself in therapy treatment. 

In my writing process, OCD has also played a big part. Sometimes, I name it my friend; sometimes I name it my worst enemy. There are many negative components brought by OCD. It can be time-consuming, as I am unable to write something without writing it on paper first and then having to type it. 

The order in which the words are placed in a piece of writing I am working on can change suddenly and take, for example, the emotion of a poem in a completely different direction than the original. Of course, this can be categorised as a positive too since it can bring the piece a distinctive allure. Nonetheless, there are times when I spend hours on a specific poem, unable to work on other pieces until I’ve finished. 

If I set a target for the projects that I want to write, then my OCD has played a big part in achieving those goals. I wished to write three poetry books in a year and, although challenging at times, I have completed the task. For many reasons, this can be understood as something incredible as a writer. However, it also meant there were nights when I would not be able to sleep if I did not write the specific amount of poems I proposed in a week. This led to my return to therapy. 

The negative side of it all has been struggling with my intrusive thoughts while trying to work on my poetry, novel and articles, as the OCD attacks were frequent, meaning that it would take so much time for me to recover, meaning my writing process was prolonged. 

Now, I can sit here and be so proud of all my achievements, which include the release of my first book. There is a bittersweet taste in my mouth when it comes to the role my OCD plays in the writing process, as although many times it was challenging and I was much more critical of my work, I am unsure whether I would have been able to have so much writing material now.  

The changes that can be made when bringing awareness about this specific mental illness are plenty. Social media has been a powerful tool for raising awareness about so many things in the past, and when it comes to OCD and its stigma, it shouldn’t be any different. Those changes should not only be made when it comes to social media sites but should also carry through to our everyday lives. 

It is time to erase ‘I am a little OCD’ from our vocabulary. Comments like this can be so damaging for someone struggling with this mental illness. When hearing people expressing these types of phrases, try and educate them on what OCD is and the many ways in which it can affect someone’s life. Maybe then, they’ll be more careful with their words.