By Kate Phillips

Self-worth is a recurring term in these times of increased mental-health awareness and focus on human potential (which is a good thing!). Still, self-worth is not necessarily easy to manifest. The bottom line of communications around ‘self-worth’ tends to be that it is something that we need to have good levels of to be able to properly look out for ourselves in the world. It helps us defend ourselves and put ourselves in line for good things because, if our self-worth is healthy, we believe we’re ‘worth’ it. And yet, self-worth is one of those concepts that’s hard to quantify and visualise in terms of associated feelings and behaviours. 

Confusingly, it’s not technically interchangeable with self-confidence and self-esteem; it’s a thing unto itself that is less about feeling good about our abilities or liking ourselves and more about valuing our right to exist and thrive as a unique individual. Depending on the individual in question, self-worth is perhaps better recognised as the feeling of being generally ‘enough’, ‘not enough’, or sometimes even ‘too much’ as a person. 

One reason that people have low self-worth or feel that they’re ‘not enough’ is the toxic messaging that we get from society about who the worthy members of society are. We notice how we don’t compare to those people and believe we don’t have the right to certain things like love or financial security as a result. Where the ins and outs of self-worth might be confusing, we can perhaps look to fictional characters who exhibit self-worth to inspire us to tap into our own buried reserves. 

Donna Meagle, the vibrant and vivacious office manager on Parks and Recreation, gives a great example of how people who have good self-worth might behave in different situations and with regard to different issues. Yes, Donna is materialistic. Yes, she is sometimes rude to her co-workers. However, Donna overall exhibits high levels of self-worth in how she regards herself and how she lives her life; she believes she is worthy of the best, despite not having runway model looks or a super-cool job. Here are the things that Donna Meagle can teach us about how to embody self-worth:

1. Indulge Your Passions, Whatever They Are

Donna is not ashamed of the things that interest her. Her passion for her car is well documented with her panic when it gets shot at, and her frequent comments, such as “my baby has a delicate suspension” and “he’d better be showered, I just detailed my car and he is notoriously funky”. She also passionately tweets through the seen-to-be ridiculous Death Canoe movies and reveals her love of the Twilight series. A sign of high self-worth is not feeling silly or embarrassed about the things that interest you just because they might not measure up to society’s idea of ‘worthwhile’. 

2. Don’t Take Things Personally

People who have built up their self-worth don’t tend to take things personally. When Ben snaps at Donna during a meeting, telling her to get the paperwork done faster, she doesn’t jump to assuming it’s genuinely a problem with the way that she does things. Instead, she asks Ben what has caused him to snap. “What is wrong with you today? Did they cancel Game of Thrones?” Donna knows that she isn’t the cause because she’s good enough at her job.

3. Make Time to Treat Yourself Occasionally

Donna and Tom have one day every year that they dedicate entirely to treating themselves. They get massages, drink champagne, and shop for new clothes. An indicator of self-worth is believing that you deserve pleasure and joy, just because. You don’t always need to do something to ‘earn’ it. In Parks and Recreation, Donna and Tom also encourage the other characters to join in with treating themselves, resulting in Ben buying himself a batman costume when he’s sad over his breakup with Leslie. 

4. Have Clear Boundaries

 People that exhibit good levels of self-worth have clearly defined boundaries. If you don’t feel that all other people are better than you, you don’t always give in to said people. Donna doesn’t help with anything that she doesn’t feel the need to. When struggling to work the 311 hotline, Jerry asks Donna for help, and she’s quick to remark that “that sounds like an IT problem”. When asked if the troupe can stay at her lake house, Donna says that they can, but they must bring their own towels!

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Have High Standards for a Partner

Having standards for the kind of person you want for a partner goes hand in hand with having high self-worth and means that you would rather be single than in the wrong relationship. Donna does not give in to pressure to settle down. She reveals that she has “several men in rotation”, and even one waiting out for her in the car on Galentine’s day: “don’t worry, I rolled down the window”. She also doesn’t feel like she has to entertain anyone that finds her attractive if she doesn’t feel the same way. When Ben asks her why she wouldn’t flirt with the NFL player, she retorts: “he’s a line-backer, skill positions only for Donna Meagle”. When Donna does decide to get married to Joe, she does so as she can tell that he likes her for the right reasons. On her wedding day, she says to him in her vows, “a while back, I thought I’d never find someone who loved me for me”.

And there you have it, a crash course on the attitudes and behaviours of good self-worth. Do yourself a favour – be like Donna Meagle.