We live in a society - a society that is obsessed with statistics rather than real life experiences. A society that values numbers over lives. A society that values what actually?

Sarah Everard’s case brought to my attention how much people value statistics and the percentage of 97 over countless stories of how deeply impacted people have been by their experiences. By our experiences, I should say.

It was in a moment three years ago that I realised my life, or people’s lives, didn’t fundamentally matter to others. It was later that year that I fell into many bad situations that wound me up in hospital. 

To detail the bad situations would use triggering language, and a whole lot of it.

We live in a society.

A society that reinforces this idea of it could be me, it could be you. Well it was me. I was hurt. I was affected, and it’s not something one loses memory of. Well it is actually, because when you’ve been traumatised your brain sometimes tries to protect you by forgetting the trauma. I forgot mine, until a year ago. Now that I remember, although I understand myself better, I wish I had still forgotten.

We live in a society.

The statistics help us realise how much of our society is affected. It’s not about how many people are affected though, but how deeply. To just put the percentage is reducing my experience, all these people’s experiences, to a matter of statistics.

You are not a statistic but a person with real experiences. Your experiences are valid and real.

We live in a society. 

I keep saying that because it was said to me by my abuser whom I relied on after my assault. It is not his sentence to own though.

We live in a society.

I keep saying that because why is anyone accepting societal expectations that this behaviour ‘just happens’? 

We live in a motherfucking society.

I keep saying that because a society is a group of inter-dependent people. Society changes when we do.