How Discovering Pole Dancing Has Helped Me Accept Myself As An Aspie
By Isa Camille
Growing up with Aspergers Syndrome, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I struggled to accept myself for who I am for years. And I struggled to find a consistent hobby.
Having been pushed into rhythmic gymnastics, ballet and modern dance from an early age, courtesy of my stepmother, I grew up fairly disciplined – until I arrived at university. Then I started ‘adulting’ and couldn’t find a fitness activity or hobby to stick to to save my life. I tried numerous gyms, swimming, pilates, and even hot yoga. The lot. But I never became consistent with anything for more than a few months. Until I discovered the magic of the pole community.
I first discovered pole dancing when I saw an old friend practice it; for years, I watched her get better and better. However, I never had the confidence to do it myself. I always said that I would try out pole and always put it off, again and again. Until Covid hit. Lockdown completely made me rethink my priorities, causing me to stop putting things off.
In May 2021, when my local pole studio reopened, I eagerly signed up for pole fitness classes. I had given myself a new motto: just go for it. ‘You only live once – that’s the motto’, as Drake would put it. So I went for it. And it has been an incredibly challenging journey, especially as an individual with Aspergers Syndrome.
Pole requires me to have a perfect mind and body connection for me to succeed in perfecting challenging movements and combinations. As a neurodiverse individual, I have found it naturally more challenging to link the mind and body connection. But now I have found that after two years I am able to do amazing things with my body that I never even thought possible.
Sometimes it was difficult with my neurodiversity to not focus on one particularly challenging move. This means I often find myself inadvertently using a certain move I have been struggling with as a benchmark to improve on a personal level. However, I have realised this approach is not the healthiest and through discussions with the amazing friends I have met in the pole community, along with my incredibly supportive and understanding instructor, I am working on moving past this trait.
Another challenge is feeling overwhelmed at the number of steps I need to remember in order to successfully perform a certain combination of moves. I find it easier to review the steps I need to learn and execute the combination of movements in smaller sections rather than trying to do everything all at once, and I never feel uncomfortable or discouraged about having to ask multiple times for an explanation.
In my journey with pole, I am fortunate to have discovered a warm, welcoming, open and friendly community along the way. I have felt like I was missing a sense of community and belonging in all other activities I had tried to get into since I stopped regularly training in dance. Even during the times that I was practising dance and gymnastics at a competitive level, I never felt as though I formed the same friendly connections with other people in the same community as I have found with pole.
Pole has definitely helped me not only maintain a generally high level of fitness, but it has also improved my confidence as well as opened the doors to new exciting opportunities and friendships. As a neurodiverse individual, I would definitely recommend pole wholeheartedly to anyone looking for a new activity as it has not only brought me new amazing skills but also a much needed self-confidence boost.
Isa Camille is an Aspie wanting to share her own story and personal experiences of facing the world with neurodiversity in the hopes of inspiring others.