‘How Women Are Heard in Society is Fundamental’: Listening Our Way Out of Gender Inequality

By Lydia Melville

I grew up the eldest of four daughters, so there were always raucous debates in the struggle for the hierarchy of who got to use the bathroom first, who could take the front seat on the school run, and who’d get Mum and Dad’s attention for weekend plans. 

Despite this, I still found myself being incredibly shy outside of this heavily female environment, where my opinion didn’t seem to stand with as much weight. I would suddenly feel so small when I was either the only or one of few women or girls. Realising as a young woman that I would be noticed sexually – and not because I could think for myself, or take care of myself, or voice an opinion – scared me. 

Sociologist Anne Karpf discusses how a lower-pitched voice brings authority and how because of this we are largely socially conditioned to take male, or at least deeper, voices more seriously. How women are heard in society is fundamental for gender equality. If we keep having to defend that we know what we say we know or apologise for being right, then we are chasing our tails on the issue. 

How do we want to be heard? Not as a nag or a hag or a witch, not as a prude or stubborn or spoilt, not as a demanding know-it-all or dumb bimbo. We simply want to be heard as fellow human beings – sometime soon would be nice. We want to be heard when we are professionals in our trade, as professionals. When we are confused about sports rules, we want to be heard as someone needing guidance, not patronised. When we are firm and say “no”, we want you to hear that it really means “no” and not “persuade me”. It doesn’t take much to notice that the fight for women’s equality seems to have forgotten egality along the way.

The tale of Cassandra, princess of Troy, daughter of King Priam and Queen Hecuba, comes to mind when I think of women not being heard. Cassandra warned her fellow Trojan people about the horrors which the Greeks would bestow on the city with the gift of the Trojan horse. Yet, her warnings were grossly ignored. Whether this was down to Apollo’s curse, which allowed Cassandra to prophesise without being believed, would be easier to accept if the same issue of women not being listening to wasn’t a consistent occurrence. But it is. Women, by and large, are still ignored, even when telling the truth. There is still a lot of work to do. 

Mary Ann Sieghart released a book this year called The Authority Gap: Why Women Are Still Taken Less Seriously Than Men, and What We Can Do About It. She covers the gender pay gap, how women are interrupted more than men and, despite rumours, how women speak less in public unless when their opinion is essential for a unanimous vote. We are still being taken less seriously than men in 2021 It is terrifying. 

Women having to fight to be listened to doesn’t stop in the professional realm. Those of us with female reproductive systems have had to campaign for our reproductive rights for decades now. This is shocking. In my opinion, the issue is clearly one of power and control and also one of fear. Women are as strong and powerful as we’ve ever been under a patriarchal system that is starting to fray. 

When women’s voices are silenced in society, we lose out on hearing what matters to roughly half the population. Whether women choose to procreate or not, the silencing of choice through lack of discussion damages us all. This needs to stop.

If Women Rose Rooted by Sharon Blackie is another worthy read, and it taught me the importance of having my own space – like Virginia Woolf’s suggestion in A Room of One’s Own. For a woman to thrive, thinking space is essential, both to craft ideas and to filter through what is perhaps not working in the outside world.

Violence, the removal of educational and reproductive rights, the abuse of authority, and the continued suffering for pay equality all continue today despite our best efforts to campaign for a better playing field for women. 

As the proverb goes, necessity is the mother of invention. Now is the time to start actively listening to women’s opinions and needs. By hearing what women from all backgrounds have to say, there can be a platform built to ensure people know we know what we’re talking about. There is a duty to protect others who may not be able to speak as loudly. I know what I want to say. Now I just need to be heard.