A Look into the World of Online Sex Work and Why it’s Time to Start Destigmatising It

By Celine Heath

Sex. Over the years, we’ve seen the topic start to become acceptable in conversation. The media has started to take on a more relaxed approach, it’s becoming more mainstream in books with astonishing sales of steamy bestsellers such as Fifty Shades of Grey, and the younger generations have made considerable progress in normalising ‘sex talk’. We are now even seeing ample movements that urge people to pay for their porn and choose ethical sites. 

Online sex work comes in a massive variety. There’s amateur porn, content sellers on platforms such as OnlyFans and fetish specific accounts (a Financial Dominatrix, for example) on social media sites like Twitter. Though approaches vary, the underlying premise of it all remains the same: the exchange of virtual sexual services, performances, or products for material compensation.  

The first lockdown in March 2020 created financial problems for many of us. There was a boom in the number of people partaking in online sex work. Perhaps you’d expect the stigma around the topic of online sex work to be questioned and dismissed – surely such a sex-positive society should be welcoming to those who choose to make a living from sex, right? Especially in financially tough times like these. Sadly not.

As sex work is such a closed-off subject, it’s hard to find research and statistics to back up experiences, but there are plenty of online sex workers who speak openly about their experiences with sexual harassment and discrimination due to their profession. In fact, my brief introduction to the world of online sex work gave me first-hand proof of this. 

Operating via a now deleted account on Twitter, I spent some time getting to know this community and became part of it myself as a Financial Dominatrix. Though I never used other sites to upload any recorded content, my profile was still advertised towards submissives who experienced sexual gratification from giving elaborate gifts or amounts of money. My time spent using this account was brief, but the insight it gave me was immense. I learned the sheer extent of time and energy that goes into making content, keeping an account active and exciting, and the mental and emotional effects the lifestyle has.

I found myself in awe of these people, taken aback by just how hard their work really is. The hours put into curating the right photos, the skill it takes to draw in paying customers. It blew me away, and it still does. 

Most of my time was spent on my phone, constantly updating followers and checking the ‘Findom’ tag to find active accounts. There was no time off, no end of the day. The work came with me everywhere. If you take a day out for your mental health, you worry that your paying customers will end up finding someone else. I can’t name a more mentally and emotionally challenging job than sex work.

Many would resort to sending workers harassing and threatening messages if they couldn’t afford their prices. Even worse are the clients who form unhealthy attachments; I myself had a returning client that I had to report after receiving messages of him threatening self-harm because I was replying to another client at the same time. 

So, why exactly is the legitimacy of online sex work being questioned? Why is it still a fight to include sex workers when demanding equality? I may not have had to leave my house, put on a uniform, or report to a boss, but I still spent a considerable amount of my time on Twitter, experiencing many of the same mental stresses as you would at a 9–5 job, for money.

In a world where we’re so open about our sexual lives and desires, we should be keeping this positive approach when referring to those who work in the sex industry. Online sex work isn’t a dirty thing and doesn’t deserve to be seen as one. Sex is natural, as is finding a way to profit off something you enjoy. 

Don’t take just my word for it. Amnesty International published a draft policy arguing in favour of decriminalisation of sex work in 2016, stating that sex workers should be entitled to the same rights as other workers.

The stigma comes, I think, from the widespread information only on the dangers of sex work. Many Sex workers speak freely of the ways in which online sex work has helped them. A friend and Financial Dominatrix (who’d like to remain anonymous) was quick to highlight how online sex work gave them ‘security in [their] own strength and capability.’ 

Perhaps the most damning reason as to why online sex work needs to be destigmatised is the realisation that the discrimination of sex workers is, in fact, just discrimination of people making the choice to be unapologetically themselves. 

It’s 2022. We no longer stand for the oppression of any human being, whatever their profession may be. Who’s to say you and I are any more deserving of humanity than someone who provides for their family through selling content? We’re all human, and we all find ways to survive in an increasingly costly world – power to those who do this in any way that isn’t the status quo.