More Than Meets The Eye: Stop Assuming that People Aren’t Chronically Ill Based on Appearances

By Nikita G

How many of us make assumptions? I think just about every human being on planet Earth makes them on a daily basis. Psychology tells us that assumptions are an instinctive element of human behaviour; we use them to assess everything, from things we think we’ll like to levels of risk. We even use assumptions to find romantic prospects. But what if I told you that everyone you meet has much more to them than meets the eye?

At first glance, if you were to see me in the street, you might conclude that I'm a healthy and vibrant young woman – someone who is strong with copious amounts of energy. The reality, however, is a far cry from that. 

I suffer from Vasculitis, Ulcerative Colitis, and M.E. It's fair to say that nothing can prepare you for a life-altering diagnosis. There's no book that you can read or movie you can watch that will equip you with the tools to deal with an incurable illness. It's the kind of situation that requires you to assemble your armour ON the battlefield.

Prior to my diagnosis, for all intents and purposes, my external presentation was great. I looked healthy. Unfortunately, what was happening internally was something else entirely. My body was harbouring a combination of potentially fatal diseases. My immune system was attacking itself and causing widespread inflammation in my blood vessels, colon, and other organs.

My body needed immediate treatment. Steroids, immunosuppressants, antibiotics. All of these things became a part of my everyday life. Finding the right medications was a case of trial and error. Trying one thing and then being switched on to something else became part of the routine. Speaking frankly, I couldn't tell you how many tests, scans, and infusions I've had in the last three years. On most days, tears are shed and prayers are made. I’ve often wondered if there was something I did to cause this affliction, if this is somehow karma for something I’ve done in my past.

After I was diagnosed, I knew that life as I knew it was never going to be the same again. This was my new normal, and I had to learn to adjust my goals and expectations accordingly. Pacing myself helped ease the fatigue, a symptom of my conditions. I grieved the loss of my youth, which felt like it had been robbed and hijacked by my illnesses. My mind alternated between feelings of immense self-betrayal and incredible awe for everything that my body had endured so far.

Throughout this entire experience (or ordeal – pick your poison), I embodied a level of strength, courage, and compassion that I never knew existed. I was transformed by my tribulations. I became a new woman, so to speak. Funnily enough, I would love to say where I see myself in a couple of years from now. But if chronic illness has taught me anything, it's to just take life one day at a time!

To simply put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

So, the next time you're sitting on a train, taking a jog in the park, or sitting in a coffee shop watching the world go by, please remember that the people you see around you have struggles going on that you can’t see. Each and every one of us has a story to our name. Behind every smile lies a warrior fighting for survival.

A wise man once said, “always assume your assumptions about others are wrong. Because often, they are.” These are words that I live by now, and you should too.