‘Can You Really Be a Queer Muslim?’: Intersectionality and the Complexity of Identity
Sexism, Patriarchy and Social Performance: Why Women Should Stop People Pleasing
Acting like this has become second nature to me. My knee-jerk reaction is to be kind to everyone, even when they’re undeserving of my kindness. It’s a performance I’m constantly putting on without even realising it, and, starting today, I’m going to put in the effort to stop unknowingly committing to an act that is detrimental to my well-being and self-respect…
Too Foreign for Home, Too Foreign for Here: Trying to Balance My Japanese and Argentinian Cultures
One year, as a gift for my birthday, my sister gave me a poetry book by Ijeoma Umebinyuo. It contains my favourite poem to date, which spoke to me on some unnamable level. It reads:
So, here you are, too foreign for home, too foreign for here. Never enough for both.
‘Without a Mother, I Don’t Know How to be One’: A Personal Reflection
I was caught in a constant spiral of picturing what I could never have – running my hands over a bump, holding a newborn. Seeing mothers with small children was like being stabbed and watching anyone act a birthing scene on TV was like drinking acid. I told myself it was biology, hormones, being almost forty. Time was running out, that was all…
Not All Skin Folk Are Kin Folk: You Don't Like Black Women and We Don't Care
Black women are still being force-fed the lesson that not all skin folk are kin folk through podcasts, YouTube videos and TikToks. For some reason, a slew of people – Black men in particular – decided it was time to crap on Black women’s existence. Where this trend came from and why it keeps randomly happening is extremely odd, but I can tell you one thing: Black women do not care…
The Wilderness of the True Self: Reflections on Identity
I am not my gender. I am not the colour of my skin. I am not perfect. This wholeness and this bundle of life I carry inside is my identity. My imperfections are my absolute identity. To love is to not deny any part of you. Accepting the light and darkness within you is unconditional love, and it is only through unconditional love we can have an identity that’s cosmic. My identity is divine…
‘Bisexuality was Only Ever Presented as this Liminal Phase’: Discovering My Sexuality Amid Biphobia and Confusion
It’s so completely valid to go from identifying as bisexual to gay, straight or anything else. I only applaud those who share their truth and journey of identity so openly. But what I found difficult was the fact that bisexuality was only ever presented as this liminal phase, a space of transition between two identities. Not something one could wholly and firmly exist in…
Twenty-Five Things I’ve Learned Before Turning Twenty-Five
Hitting the quarter-century mark is undoubtedly a milestone – a scary one. At one point in history, twenty-five was considered ‘mid-life’. My own parents were married, had careers, owned a home and were expecting me at this age. But the longer people are living, the longer this limbo of ‘not-quite¬¬-adulthood’ stretches…
Growing Up as a Child of Refugees
When my parents landed in British Columbia, Canada, they tried to get on with their lives, but it was hard. Things in this new place were confusing, and they did not have the resources to properly heal from their traumas. When they had my sibling and me, we quickly had to learn the world and translate it for them…
We Deserve Better: What We Aren’t Taught About Sex and Consent
We all know that sexual assault happens. It’s a part of our world, a part of womanhood. We hear stories. We hear whispers. We see it in the news. It’s sifted through the media we consume, often used as a dramatic plotline to bring conflict to a character. From a young age, we’re made aware of stranger danger and to not trust men lurking in the dark. But what about the men we know and trust?
The Torment of Two: The Truth about Being an Identical Twin
Somewhere along the way, my sister and I lost our identities as ‘Meher’ and ‘Maha’, and simply became ‘the twins’. Our two wholly unique parts disappeared. We were only seen as a whole. Contradictorily, by only being seen as a whole, we also became an anomaly in need of scrutiny and separation, a mystery that even strangers feel they must solve…
Unravelling Home: Finding a Sense of Home as a Product of Displacement
As a product of displacement, I used to believe that home could only be defined by walls, windows, appliances and floorboards, by land or lineage, or by stains of neglect and ridicule. For those whose sanctuaries have been violated. For those who left without turning back. For those who have been harmed or neglected. Home does not have to solely be marked by blood memories. Allow the unravelling to take place here. You are safe…
Standing Out and Fitting In: Growing Up Arab and Muslim in a Majority White City
I’ve been surrounded by white people my whole life: school, work, friends and even new family members. My accent and mispronunciations were always heard, but never listened to. I was always stared at, but never seen. I desired nothing more than to leave, to go somewhere where I wasn’t a confusing creature. Somewhere central, a hub of culture, a web made up of unapologetic voices…
I Wish It Were A Sitcom: Growing Up in a Caribbean Household
For me there was something missing, which I only began to realise when people casually referred to me as an ice queen or said that my brothers and I were a little bit too harsh with each other. Looking back now, I can see that the missing piece was simply emotion. The lost times of not hearing ‘I love you’ or ‘Are you ok?’ or even ‘Let’s talk about it’ have left such a gaping hole in my adult life that I have no idea where to begin with patching it up…
Why Language is Important When Talking About Disabilities
Without knowing it, we use ableist language every day. In the process of doing so, simultaneously we differentiate and treat those with disabilities as less than. If we change the way we address people with disabilities by not using ableist language, we can stop stigmatising those who appear or act ‘different’…
Masking and Me: Why Girls Are More Likely to Be Dismissed When It Comes to Autism
Girls are often overlooked when it comes being diagnosed with autism as they are more able to mask from an early age. If they have an intense interest, it’s more likely to be in something socially acceptable and stereotypically ‘girly’, like makeup or horses. This can lead to doctors being more likely to dismiss their behaviour as normal, leading to autistic girls not getting the help they need with their neurodivergence…
Why Can’t Autistic People Donate Eggs?
The cause of autism is not definitely known, although genetic inheritance is the most widely believed theory. Not letting autistic people donate their eggs due to autism sends a clear message to them and every autistic person out there: we want to remove you and your genetics from the population. This attitude will not exist in a vacuum and will spread, whether overtly or covertly, into the treatment of autistic people…
‘Am I Always Going to be Treated Like This?’ Reflecting on my Assault
I had given this person so much. In return, they took a piece of me that I will never get back. I gave them songs; I gave them my body, mind and my heart, time, friends, and weekends. I gave up my family for them. I gave up my privacy. They owned me. They controlled what I wore, who I saw, how long I would eat for. They went from my best friend to my abuser, bruising me with blows both physical and verbal…
Grieving The Parent Who Never Was: Reflecting on My Absent Father’s Suicide
Being raised by a single mother is its own type of grief. You mourn the loss of any father-daughter dance, bite your tongue when people ask you what you got your dad for Father’s Day, wish it wasn’t just you at home to explain to your mother how iTunes works. But this grief was something that I was always willing to carry for two reasons…
‘You’re The One Giving It More Meaning Than It Has’: Dealing with a White Friend’s Racial Ignorance
Sophie’s inability to comprehend the implications of omitting her position as a white woman, who flagrantly infringed on my boundaries, set the tone for our friendship. It was hair that proved to be the straw that broke the metaphorical camel’s back…
‘One in Two Native American Women Faces Sexual Violence in Their Lives’: Regaining Control of My Experience
I often think about these stats and what we, as Native American women, did to deserve this kind of normal. It’s part of everyday life to constantly check my surroundings. Is that guy following me in the parking lot? Has that van been there too long? I live knowing that at any point in time, I could be assaulted. I could go missing. I could be killed…