‘At Least You’re Young Enough to Start Again’: What Not to Say to a Friend Getting Divorced at Thirty
‘Exoticised and Fetishised’: Navigating Dating Apps as a Black Woman
The dating world for black women is often bleak and unwelcoming. Behind the screen and in real life, we are navigating a dating world filled with microaggressions, colourism and outright racism. Oftentimes black women put themselves out there on apps that specifically want them to message first and receive nothing in return…
‘Sometimes Friends Grow Together and Grow Apart’: Reflecting on Adult Female Friendships
At first, I felt guilty for not being there for her when she needed me. Although it didn’t seem like whatever was going on was too serious, since it’d been dealt with so quickly, it could have been urgent at the time. This guilt was balanced out by the fact that part of me was angry at her. She was making me the villain and accusing me of not being there for her while I was halfway across the world and having the most difficult week of my life…
Coming Out of an Identity Crisis: How My First Queer Relationship Empowered Me to Challenge Our Gendered and Cis-Heteronormative Culture
There was an undeniable shift in how I was treated, embraced and celebrated. For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable acknowledging that I was more than a woman: I was human. Being asked for my consent (and not performatively) was like speaking a whole new language. Being urged to voice my feelings and NOT have them used against me? That was whacky as f*ck, at first…
‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’: How to Believe it Really is Them and Not You
We’ve all heard the famous breakup line, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. Or perhaps we’ve heard something similar, like, ‘You are amazing, but I just have so much going on at the moment’. Those daunting words, even though they are meant to make you feel better, just end up making you doubt yourself more…
Partner Infidelity in a Pandemic: Holding Guilt for Having the ‘Wrong’ Existential Crisis
Coming into work didn’t hurt; it didn’t exhaust me like going home to him did. And even though I gave the best possible care to my patients, holding the hands of those ill and dying, I was numb. Having experienced so much of other people’s pain and anxiety, it made my own problems seem inconsequential…
Thoughts on Falling in Love at a Young Age
Truth is, I’ve found love at a young age. I’m only twenty-two. On the cusp of my career, I am moving out, beginning that cliched next chapter. There are bright things ahead for both my partner and me. But you don’t have to read every novel, watch every film, or listen to every song to know life will throw a plot twist in your relationship’s direction. As you grow up, some things inevitably can fall apart…
You Don’t Have to Suffer in Silence: Endometriosis, Sex, and Me
In the private sphere of the bedroom, women like myself who suffer from endometriosis find this a tough subject to broach, even though sex with their partners might be an ordeal that rarely bestows enjoyment on both parties. I became accustomed to my painful reality to such a degree that the split between my pain-free partner and me turned into an insurmountable gap, taking all the pleasure of the sexual encounter away.
