‘At Least You’re Young Enough to Start Again’: What Not to Say to a Friend Getting Divorced at Thirty
Sinking the Situationship: Say Goodbye to Drama and Emotionally Draining Dating
With the casual nature of situationships, you’re never owed loyalty from the person you’re in it with. So, while you have those comforting nights together, you also have a lot of nights when you’re cancelled on, not replied to or ditched. The comfort against loneliness can be taken away just as easily as it’s given, and there’s not much you can do about it…
‘I Don’t Know How to Flirt in My Mother Tongue’: What is the Love Language of an Expat?
I truly learned how to have sex in English, if sex is a learned thing. I read its dictionary in people's beds after I moved to London. My first long-term relationship was with a Brit, and the following one as well. The things I asked for, what they asked of me… I only knew one language to say those words in…
‘Can I Be Pregnant Even Though I’m a Virgin?’: How OCD and Intrusive Thoughts Stole My Enjoyment of Sex
My intrusive thoughts morphed into a specific, unexpected and absurd manifestation: I became hellbent on the irrational belief that I was pregnant… despite being a virgin. Having undergone therapy and had time to heal from this phase of my life, I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of this obsession. However, having never been told that the human brain can torment itself with thoughts so mind-bogglingly illogical, this obsession felt like a truly terrifying reality…
‘Bisexuality is About Attraction, Not Action’: Embracing Authenticity and Coming Out as a Bisexual Woman Marrying a Straight Man
In a world that often tries to confine individuals within predetermined boxes, the path to self-discovery and acceptance can be an emotionally charged journey. For bisexuals, embracing their true selves while in a relationship that doesn't align with societal expectations can be particularly challenging…
Playing the ‘Feeld’: Getting on the Sex-Positive App and Opening Up My Marriage Last Year
We’re ethically non-monogamous. Keen to have fun with emotionally intelligent, kind humans. This is what my profile reads. I’m the most excited I’ve been in a long while about my sexuality. Having met my husband so young, we’ve only ever been with each other. Now there was the biggest, widest door open before us. I was so fucking ready…
Beyond the Barrier of Penetration: How Vaginismus Led Me to a More Adventurous Sex Life
The variety we found in our sex lives without penetration, and the amount of excitement and fulfilment we got from it showed me that the stigma peddled that sex between opposite-sex partners has to involve penetration simply isn’t true. It was freeing; it gave me permission to stop waiting for my vagina to be ‘normal’, to stop thinking penetration was what I needed to do to please my partner…
‘We Were Never Going to be a Normal Couple’: Dating a Former Client as a Sex Worker
Now, I might be old school, but back in my day we had three basic rules in the industry: no kissing on the mouth, never share your real name with a client and never date a client outside of work. I broke all three…
‘If You Don’t Understand What It’s Like to be Sexually Abused, that is a Privilege’: To The First Boy I Loved After My Assault
Instead of doubting you, I doubted myself. It wasn’t until I heard what you did to other women that I felt like what had happened to me was valid. In all the sweet nothings I wanted you to whisper to me, you decided you wanted nothing to do with me. Our relationship lasted two-hundred-eighty-one days. You burned everything; you burnt me with it…
It’s Okay to be a Dating ‘Vicktim’: Red Flags, The Ick and Why You Should Listen to Your Instincts
They sneezed weird. They dropped their wallet. They stumbled. They ordered a German lager and mispronounced it. They got stung by a bee. They sent you a text saying, ‘I am hear’. Their stomach rumbled. They did that silly little run as they crossed the road (just let the car hit you, coward!). In short, this person revealed to you something that is best kept secret during the earliest, most fragile phase of a relationship: they are human...
‘How Are You Supposed to Feel Sexually Liberated with Mum in the Room Next Door?’: Sex While Living at Home as an Adult
Constantly thinking about how loud my partner and I are or how much noise the bed is making takes me out of the moment. Living at home makes it so much harder because you’re not trying to hide it from friends or strangers but from family, and I for one didn’t have a relationship with my mum that extended to her having to listen to me having sex…
‘Everyone Deserves Representation’: The Dynamics of Queer Sex and Intimacy
Queer people typically define sex outside of the usual, heteronormative consensus that sex is only penis-in-vagina penetration! Rather, as Hannah (She/They), who identifies as queer, answered, ‘Intimacy is any intimate contact.’ Meaning, foreplay becomes defined as sex, as well as general touching, kissing, etc…
Praise or Degradation? What Exploring My Kinks Has Taught Me About Sex and Relationships
Who would have thought that having to strive for academic perfection for about seven years gives you a praise kink? Or that reading toxic hate smut has you considering degradation? I’ve been hogtied (not for me; I don’t bend that way), and I’ve even had hot wax poured on me (that is for me)…
‘The First Time I Tried to Have Sex, I Had a Panic Attack’: Overcoming the Fear of Vaginal Penetration
My exes didn’t seem too interested in finding other reasons for our bedroom issues. They were perfectly content to let me believe that sex wasn’t working for us because my body was flawed. Why is it that women always have to take responsibility for things that might not actually be our fault?